*sniffle* My last day of vacation. I dont want to go back to school (and this has (mostly) nothing to do with those projects I didnt finish...heh heh)! I dont feel like going back their and facing my humiliation. Or pretending to like some people and being nice to them....all those fake smiles I have to use and forced laughs that no one ever seems to noticed is forced. Plus I fear I may have gained a pound or two. I baked so much this week that it was torture trying not to eat them all. So I to gave them away. Not only that but I havnt done any laundry. So I, quite literally, have nothing to wear. And that stupid hick wanna-be (No, not Cowgirl) called me last night around midnight (how he got my number I'll never know) and started questioning me about stuff. I was half asleep and didnt even realize I let word of my crush slip until it was too late. So I had to play dumb and say alot of "I dunnos" when I was questioned about him. I doubt Hick will ever figure it out....but still....you never know. *lqth* Then again he's so self centered he may think that its him I like! Lol. Now thats funny.
I lost time. I swear it was only 3:00 last time i looked. Where did my five hours go to? I think I may have blacked out. 'Cause I was just sitting down, looked over at my clock (it said: 15:00). Then all of a sudden I shiver and look at the clock again and it says: 20:15! What the hell? Its really not surprising I guess. I mean, its not the first time this has happened. But its usually not such a huge time jump. Usually its just 10-30 minutes. But I dont faint or anything, I sorta leave my self....Does that make sense? (like your thinking stops and its kinda like your brain is alseep cause the rest of you is still going.) Example: A couple weeks ago I was in Spanish class then my vision blurs a bit (kinda a teary blur), I shiver and suddenly I'm in English. That I'm used to. Which only helps proves my theory that the body dose not need a conscious mind to act. (Like people could eat, walk, hell maybe even kill if they are aggressive enough without being conscious to do so.)
Anyway mom got back from the store and bought all the supplies I needed....well not all. She didnt get me oranges, unflavored gelatin, or a blender. (I love baking. I am damn good at it too. But I wanted to try my hand at sherbet. But nooo....she didn't get what I needed for that. *Sigh*) Yes, my dream is to open a bakery. But mom is totally against that. "It doesn't make enough money." Yes, I understand money is important. But I'm not gonna base my life decisions on it. If I did that I'd end up in a stupid cubical job. THOSE THINGS ARE SCARY! Its like a maze. I always get lost when I go visit my aunt. I dont know how they do that every day. But your career should be something your passionate about. Otherwise you'll live a life full of regrets.
Urg, Rick has got to be (one of) the worst dads in the world. He is gone for weeks-months at a time. Then when he finally gets home he doesn't want to spend anytime with his girlfriend (mom) his ONE YEAR OLD son (my brother....I hope my bro forgets his face, that'll show him) no no, he wants to spend time with his stupid friends or at a bar. Well, we ask him to watch HIS son for a couple of hours. THATS ALL! And what does he do? Falls asleep, leaves the kid in the house by himself (THE ONE YEAR OLD KID), Drinks Whilst watching his kid (and this is only what I've caught him doing. Who knows what else he does! Hell, I'll bet he's even cheated on mom. Yes, I Do have reason to believe he's done that). GOD! Why is mom attracted to such assholes? (Theres been dad, T.J, Mac, Ed, Ted, creepy guy, and stoner guy) I've told on him once. Never again. He denies it so much that they get in a fight and(its so bad that) mom starts to cry. And then he's pissed and mean to me. But not mean to where I can get him in trouble with the law or mom. Just that sneaky evil meanness that no one ever believes you about. I understand that mom dosnt want to be a single mom again. It was hard on her even though I was 6. But its not like he was helping anyway!! All they do is fight. And we might lose the babysitter (since its Rick's cousin). Plus mom still thinks they can "Turn things around". PSSH! I totally doubt it.
Lil bro, you'd better grow up to do something pretty damn important. Otherwise all this crap we've gone through will have been in vain.
I've fallen in love! Lol ok not really. See theres this girl in my class who loves this guy name Buckethead. This dude (who apparently is soo famous that I've never even heard of him) wears a mask and a KFC bucket on his head. Gay, yes. Thats what I said, so I would make fun of her. Well I got bored so I decided to check him out.
Well she's right about one thing. No one knows who he truly is. And shes right again when she says "HIS MUSIC (though it is lyricless) ROCKS!!!!". I'm absolutly adoring his music. Heres a sample called Jordan(BTW his songs are long)
Oh and I'm going to some comic store tomorrow. Hopefully they will have Slave labor (thats the publisher) comics. I hate ordering online (or is it offline?). I always end up getting soo adicted to internet shopping. SO, anything I should get?
Ok this is driving me insane! Can all of you see the pictures on my layout (it will be real obvious if you cant because there will be alot of white bloches everywhere)? Theres a desk, a cell phone, stairs, and a guitar.
When I go to the school library I cant see the pics, but on my own computer I can. So can any of you see them?
Its not like I've forgotten about you. Theres just nothing to write about lately. Spring break sucks. Rays gone to New York, Hope is busy with her stupid new Boyfriend, and I'm stuck here, rearranging the house, out of sheer boredom. Well, I did come up with a clever way to make money! Well, technically I wont be doing anything....and this plan has been thought of by just about everyone in school, who buys lunch, at some point in their lives. Yup! you guessed it! I wont spend my lunch money on lunch! No no, I wont be starving myself. I am to attached to food to become anorexic (and hate throwing up too much to become bulimic...even though it wouldnt hurt to lose a few pounds. (what can you expect! I Am a teenage girl after all. Of course I hate how I look)). I'll just secretly pack lunch whilst still pretending to buy.
I've got everything covered. My usual lunch expenses are (these are american dollars Btw) 2.75pd* and once every other week 3.75(only one day though). So I've calculated the days when I should be out of lunch money. See this is where most people go wrong. They forget to ask their parents for money or ask for too much too soon. And. They. Get. Caught. I do feel a little bad. But I need money for certain things. And I cant get a job for 6 more months, so what am I supposed to do? And When you really look into it. There is no wasting money here. Mom always buys food that never gets eaten because I dont pack anymore. So now I will be eating that food now. If anything, I'm saving money.
I think my mom likes torturing me. I really do. She's making me go shopping with Flame. Remember her threat? Or didn't I tell you? (In the car ride home from the "I Detest shopping" post she said: "I'm throwing out all of your clothes and buying you New Cute clothes). I didn't think she was serious!! I mean, she's never gone through with any of her other threats. So before I leave I must hide everything I love. (I think shes gonna do a room "make-over" on me too). I'll leave a few things, you know, so she thinks she's thrown everything out. I just have to find someone to store my junk for a few days. *Sigh* I might have to rely on Cowgirl for a favor. Or maybe I could hide it in the crawlspace near my bed. Mom wouldn't think to look there! (I hope).
Well actually since mom is coming out with us (too go Easter shopping or something...way to procrastinate mom.) so I might have another day...I hope. Cause theres no way I can hide everything (without missing something) in an hour AND get ready to go. (Ok, ok it only takes me like 10 minutes to get ready (and I think mom HATES that) but I also will probably have to watch Spawn. (Spawn is my baby (half) brother. Remember, mom got knocked up. I'll let cha know how it went.
Oh I love talking to Ray (my best friend from my old school). I havnt talked to her in weeks! But sadly I dont think I'll get to see her because she mught be going to New York for spring break (damn her). Unless they dicide not to go. Then I'll probably live there (like I did over the summer).
Lol well, anywho, we were talking about Hope and her new bf. Shes really mad that hes only half an inch taller then her so now she cant wear heels. I say she still can but she says it will look to weird. Then (somehow) we got unto the topic of Vin. And after she remembered that I'm so shy I probably wont even look at him (lol no need to tell her) she started making fun of me. How mean! But shes right. I am too shy. But why does she have to ask questions about him as if I would know the answers? Im too shy remember. She's trying to come up with scheme to make him talk to me. I told her my plan (I'm partners with one of his friends, so I'm hoping that they'll talk and I'll join in or whatever. Lol stupid yeah, but its a start!)
Ok in case your wondering what happened after I stormed off to the book store:mom appologized hopeing that I would forget what had happen and buy the perfect mom crap. But then she said that this weekend we were going to go buy make-up and new clothes. And she was throwing out every piece of clothing I currently owned. Worst of all, she said it WITH A SMILE!! Like I wanted this. No! NO! NO!! All I said was I hated how I looked not "Gee mom I sure wish I had preppy clothes and too much make-up on!" (No offence to preps intended)
Cowgirl was waiting for me today by my chemistry class. Wtf? She started talking to me like we were best friends...Oh and she gave me an anime. Said she didn't realize what it was until after she bought it, so I could have it.
I was gonna tell Jess who my crush was but then she seemed to think I was pregnate (Im a virgin thank you) and then the whole convo. slipped into one about sex and virginity. (lol which we were joined by someone I thought was a virgin and a boy who obviously was by how wide eyed he was through the convo.) Man I have weird friends. But I'm glad actually. I think she knows him....and I dont think Jess would be able to keep her mouth shut to him...OH! Btw! I caught him lookin at me. lol prob just looking to see if I was. But during the class I let my imagination take over and was thinking that maybe he did like me. lol Oh well....
Yesterday I needed some new jeans, so mom takes me to the store. Oh, but not a regular store. This store has sizes that run extremely small! (like you have to pick 3 sizes or higher then your regular size) Great, like I dont feel self-conscious enough. Thanks mom. Well after finding absolutely nothing that didn't make me cry I went to find mom so we could leave. Well she gets pissed that I brought her out to the store and didn't get anything. Then she sees my face is red and starts yelling at me to tell her whats wrong and why I was crying. So people turn to look because "mom dosnt want to make a scene". Dear god, my face starts to blush and tears are trying to escape because I'm so embarrassed. Which makes mom even madder. I dont feel like this. I try to tell her nothings wrong. That I didnt get anything but theres nothing here can we try a diffent store. But noo. Mom dosnt want me to lie to her because she knows somethings wrong (and she can find like 50 gazillion things for me(all ugly))
So now mom is going to do that "I'm buying your clothes" thing (but then she gets pissed when I never wear them....especially since I "begged" to get them). Well after telling her about how the shirts are all prego shirts (because thats the new "in" thing...which is very convenient for all those pregnant teenagers isnt it?) and so on until finally she gets me so mad I yell "Yeah well only pretty girls can pull that off!" Deer in the headlights. You can so see smoke coming out of moms ears. "YOU ARE! MAYBE IF YOU DIDN'T WEAR BLACK BAGGY CLOTHES ALL THE DAMN TIME! AND WHY NOT TRY SOME MAKE-UP!!!!" (haha, we have an audience by now) "WELL SORRY I'M NOT THE SKINNY, KNOCKED-UP, CHEERLEADER DAUGHTER YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED!" I turn to leave.
"YOU ARE NOT FAT" "AM TOO!" (and I go on to list everything wrong with my body. Which would normally embarrass the crap outta me. But I couldn't even see anyone else anymore. It was just me and her in a war of the zodiacs (O.K. you dont know this but me and my mother are a Leo and a Scorpio (and HER mother was also a Leo. Needless to say me and grandma get along fine. But Leos and Scorpios...heh, heh...I'm surprised both of us are still alive. Oh fun fact! great grandma was a Scorpio...lol see a pattern?). "IF YOU THINK YOUR SO FAT THEN WHY DONT YOU QUIT EATING..."(she was gonna finish with all that junk food and Cheeze itz (heaven sent Cheeze itz) or somthing, but I cut her off)
"O.K. FINE! I'LL BE ANOREXIC. OR WOULD YOU PREFER BULIMIC LIKE FLAME?!" HAHA! That struck a nerve. Seeing my victory at her speechless face I stormed out and ran down the street to the book store. Thankfully it was cold so by the time I got there the redness had left my face. Man....wish I had brought some money.
I love my mom. Hell, shes my mom. I just dont Like her.
I can't sleep. If this were a journal (with paper) it'd probably be all tear stained. I feel so pathetic right now. So overwhelmed. Colleges, choosing a career, applying for post secondary (what if i actually get in? How the hell am I supposed to find my way around? Or drive there? if I ever learn that is. And what if I don't get in? I cant afford a full college. Let alone all the added years I'll need in trying to find a career. What if I fail at it? Not enough money, theres definitely a shortage), this presentation I have. I hate speaking if front of people. I usually speak to softy, so then I have to repeat my presentation. And Sometimes I start to tear up (I'm scared out of my mind when I have to speak in front of a group) and then I'll get so embarrassed I wont be able to stop. And it will just keep coming and coming. Then I'll be even more terrified! And what topic? I chose a partner to try and ease the embarrassment but all she wants to do is a presentation on Stoffer's macaroni! How embarrassing! It doesn't even match the class!!! Urg not to mention my crush will be watching me!
I wish none of this was real, that life wasn't really so complicated. That I could just close my eyes and when I open them again this will have all been a dream.
Urg, Yet another reason I cant stand Poser. I just got off the phone with her (she called to tell me she still hasnt discovered who started that rumor yet.) Oh no, not the one about me. The one about her getting trashed at a party. Which I can totally see happening. Not only that, but I'm pretty sure she started it. She's going around telling everyone about this "rumor". Yet she says that it was only started because someone wanted to start drama or get a rise out of her (and she "hates" drama, and it "wont"get a rise out of her)....yet she wont shut up about it and how she wonders who started it. Um hello? What about not starting drama? Urg, hipocrite.
Mik and her two kids (Kyle and Flame(lol her real name actually has something to do with fire, can you guess what it is?) Oh and Flames boyfriend are comming over. Yippee! A sexist ass, his bulimic sister and her "gangster" wanna-bee boyfriend. I cant wait. But really, you should see this chic, she reminds me of Jack the Pumpkin King from Nightmare Before Christmas! Thats how sickenly skinny she is. And her legs, total NBC legs. I used to feel bad for her. Cause it is a disease, but then she turned into a whore (literally. Even with her abusive step dad!!)
We used to be friends, but then we grew apart. She became a diseased whore, and I became the enemy of her kind. Im what they would call "creepy" or a "Freak". Both terms I find endering. Cause, who wants to be like the rest of those clones? And before any of you freak and say "Emos" and "Goths" are clones too, Im not "emo" or "goth". Im in a diffrent catagory (though I sooo hate catagories). Its an old and small populated group. But I do hope one day it will be as full as all the others. Its called the outcasts. *Sigh* no not like that show, not like the "artists" or whoever else calls themselves that. I'm talkin the one that existed in your grandparents schools. The one that started dieing around your parents jr. or senior year. (Again I hate labels. But if I must label myself, that is what I have chosen) Lol hope I dont sound like what Im trying not to be....but now re-reading....I kinda do. Oh well, hopefully some of you will get my point. :P <3 Duzzie
Yeah, thats my homework. But surprisingly this is the easiest stuff we've learned so far in chemistry. (A.K.A: I actually get this stuff. :P)
Anywho, in case you've been wondering about the whole "Cowgirl avoiding me" thing, don't worry about it. I'm not her friend anymore. And it's not just because of the whole "Ditching me because she thinkgs I'm gay" thing. I recently found out she was a racist (Surprise surprise). And we never really had anything in common anyway. Plus she found a group of "Hick wanna-bes" and shes been hanging out with them alot. So now I don't have to try and pretend I like her new racist friends or her stupid racist hick boyfriend (I hated him the moment I met him, even before I found out he was a close minded, homophobic, racist bastard). And, if I'm being completly honest here, I don't think I ever really like Cowgirl in the first place. Hell, she prob never even liked me. Besides, all is well, my new friend Jess is keeping me plenty sain.
"Duzzie? Who’s Duzzie?" "You know, that freak with the bat necklace." "Oh! You mean the one who can't talk?" "Yeah, well I heard she’s gay!" "EW! Lezbo!" Omg! Can you believe it? I never would have thought Duzzie was….Wait. I’M Duzzie. I’m gay now? Well that’s a new one. And why am I always the last to know about me?
This Sucks. This sucks majorly. I’m not homophobic or anything. Actually I find gays adorable. At my old school I only had one completely straight friend. The rest were gay or bi. But look at it this way. My crush might know I exist now. But if he does, he probably thinks I'm gay. Do you see the problem? Oh! And get this. Cowgirl is a lezbophobe. Yup, she’s been avoiding and ignoring me for over a week now. At least now I know why. *sigh* People kept whispering about me all day. Its very annoying. One (and probably the only) good thing is that now all I have to do is look at them and say that they are cute and the mean girls go away. Though that’s probably not helping the "I’m not gay" factor.
He kept looking at me today. I'm not sure if it was because he had caught me looking at him a few...(heh heh) times or maybe he was afraid I'd charge at him again (It was soooo by accident. Just read the wide eyed post) or what. And there is always that slim chance that he likes me! *SQUEE* Lol my stupid girlishness. (lets call him Vin. Since I don' know his real name)
We have a stupid history project. We have to take a talent or interest we have and do a timeline about it. How it relates to history and all that. Which isn't so bad...but we also have to PRESENT IT! GAHH! My fears! I HATE HATE HATE standing up and talking in front of people.
OH! I completely forgot to tell you yesterday. Ok well my friend (yup thats right, I made a friend) thinks that Zak is hot and asked me if he was a virgin. Well I didn't know so I asked him....let me set the scene. He's about 7 people behind me and we are leaving lunch. So I say (or scream) "Hey Zak! Are you a virgin?" Well he blushes and runs up to me and (with a WTF look on his face) says "Yeah I'm saving my...." My friend (who only comes up to about his chest) gives him a big hug and says "Aww so cute! I wanna take you." The look on his face: Priceless. I start crackin up so bad I had to leave. Well today she comes over and he wont even look at her. I ask him whats wrong when I realize how embarrassed he is. "Aww Zakie's embarrassed!" He looks at me, "Well duh!"
For the rest of lunch I just kept making fun of him. Now Jess (my friend) is all embarressed because she made him embarressed. Lol, this school is so weird.
Urg I hate the OGTs. Sure they're insainly easiy (too me at least) but they're also mind numblingly boring. We had the reading portion of the test today. There was a story about a tree! A damn tree! No hidden meaning or analagy. Just a story, about a tree. Well the begining and ending were about a tree....the middle was about some dude and a monkey...I dunno. It through in some King Solomon (you know the story about two women fighting ove a baby and the king dude is all wise and solves it). But other then the fact that this guy loved the tree he wanted to save it, the King Solomon case really has nothing to do with it.
Oh and who knew Zak was so clingy? He is trying to find another girlfriend because he dosnt want to be alone....stupid right? Especially since he dosnt seem to care who it is....yet he broke up with his last girlfriend cause they had nothing in common. Yeah Zak, just date everyone till you find the one you click with.
Ah, another boring weekend. It snowed like 10 (or more) inches, leaving me stranded in the house the whole time. Not much to do but watch re-runs on tv or read. Which brings me to the title. I just finished this book called Nightwood. It pretty good. Good enough for me to not be able to put it down until I was done. I'd give it a 6.5-7 out of 10. Its a murder horror kind of book. I like them only because I like playing detective. :P But the ending confused me horribly. Actually just the last page and a half of the book. I really cant say how it confused me without ruining the ending of the story. But I'll try. This guy, who isnt really in the story until the end, goes through something horrible. Which would traumatize anyone. But just ends up being a little too fucked up from it. Unless he was like that to begin with....I dunno. Sadly there isnt even a sequal to clear anything up.
I could kill Jess. Ok not kill, but hitting her on the head repeatedly might do the trick. I'm in the middle of a test in science when she txts me. Now my phone is crappy and dosnt silence txts. And it tells you that you have one by beeping very loudly and high pitched. Well about 2 minutes later it gets mad at me for ignoring it and goes off again. Would you like to see the message that was sooo important it couldn't wait? "What class is Tee in?" -_-'.
I'm such a loser. Today on my way to history I kinda lost consciousness (I do that sometimes) and when I came back to I was 2 feet away from the really cute boy in my class! Not only that but I was still walking! So I veered to the right only to run into a pole! AH! AND (even better) I was wearing really baggy clothes today. So even though he was paying attention to me it dosn't matter because I looked fat! Why did I choose today to be baggy clothes day? You should have seen the look he gave me. (see title) *slaps head* Stupid, stupid, stupid. *Sigh* I don't know if you can even call what I have a "crush". I've never met the guy. I seem to have this problem where I get a "crush" and then I make up this personality for him. Create diff situations where we meet and so on in my head. But then when I actually do meet them they are nothing like what I imagined, and then I get so disappointed. Is anyone else this weird?
I know I said this would be a happy post...and it will. There will just be some bad mixed in with the good :P
We had another shortened day! Sadly it was so we could go see a "teaser" of the play the school is having on Saturday. Right, like thats gonna make me go see it. Unless your showing out Grease I aint going. Happily Poser is in the play. So I didnt have to deal with her all day. But Then again, I was all alone with Zak at lunch. So I ditched lunch and went to the library where, guess who was. Yup thats right! Jake! So I hid in the back of the library near the Sci-fi until he left. No need to have a repeat of last week. Especially now that Riki may no longer come to my rescue (Oh and F.y.i he was in the play "teaser" and was adorable). Wow, I have become such a coward. No, thats not it. This guys just twice my size and could probably bench press me with one hand. Heh heh, yeah so were just gonna call me smart instead. I can almost guarantee that Poser will be asking how she was in the play tomorrow. How can I say "You stuck out like a soar thumb" without sounding mean?
Lol and in case thats not "happy" enough for you check this: Next (not this) weekend I'm going over to my best friend, Ray's house. Were gonna grab Glory and find somthing to do. My vote is for Club 87 but thats if we can get a ride. How sad is it that I'm the youngest and yet I'm the first to get her temps?
I love snow days! Espesially when they are on Wednessday or Friday. Well if you havn't guessed by now I'll tell you. NOTHING happened today. So I figured I'd just clear up two things and then be done for the day. 1: The name Duzzel I stole from a book. I absolutly adore vampire books and Duzzel (nicknamed Duzzie) was the name of a vampire king in one of them.
And 2: I was re-reading some of my posts and realized how bitchy I sound. Lol, I'm really not. Honestly. I'm a nice, fun loving person. Its just when I write about people I don't like I tend to sound bitchy. But when I write about thinkgs I like you'll see me completly diffrently, I promise. (In fact, I'll write something good for my next post :P)
I have a lot to write about today....so here it goes: I got a new braclet...well actually its one of those spiked wristband thingies. Zak forgot his at lunch today and you know the saying, finder keepers! I guess I'll give it back if he asks, but hopefully he'll forget. I don't know why but, Cowgirl has been ignoring me since yesterday. I figured she was just busy or somthing but now I think somethings up. And the fact that when I saw her in the hall today she lowered her head and practically ran past me didn't help.
Sadly Riki may no longer come to my rescue anymore (even though he dosn't know that he does). See yesterday I heard that him and Jerd (a cute guy in chem, but not the one im crushin on) had sex. Well I knew it was a lie but me and Jerd had been talking lately so I gave myself permission to mess with him.
Apparently we arn't on that level yet.
He flipped out and told Riki. So now there both blamming me for this new rumor that he fucked Riki (not that Riki minds all that much). Great Duz, make more enemies.
Lunch was weird. I had my favorite school meal (buffalo chicken wrap) and was beating Zak in The Dot Game when some guy came over to our table and asked to borrow a chair. Well he grabs the back of mine and drags it over to his table. And without even looking sits down right on top of me! About two seconds after sitting he jumps and turns around. He looks at me and yells "When the fuck did you get there?!" So I looked up at him , rolled my eyes, and said "Just now. I think its kinky when people sit on me." I stood up, grabbed my chair, and, as I walked back to my table, mummbled "dumbass" just loud enough so he could hear. So yeah, interesting day.
Pep rallies should be voluntary. And anyone who dosn't want to go can go to the library. Seriously, I'd rather be in class. (And that's saying something) This school dosn't even know how pep rallies work. The band plays too loud for it to sound like anything. People scream, cheerleaders come out, people scream again, and cheerleaders leave. Oh, and people scream some more. Continue this for 30 minutes! At least at my old school there were skits, games, contests, and cream pie throwing (at teachers) to keep us entertained. Poser was way too into it. She stood up and started dancing. Her ass was in my face and, trust me, it was not pretty. But then she left because shes in dance squad (I guess that's where the cheerleader rejects go). So Zak, Cowgirl, and me just sat there....well actually Cowgirl thought it was a blast. Me and Zak, however, just made fun of it the whole time and made paperclip earrings. (Cowgirl says hes hitting on me, but I don't buy it. Especially since he just broke up with his girlfriend last week. I know he didn't like her, but he's not that insensitive.) He also said we should get some people who are into anime and come over to his house for, I dunno, an anime bash or somthing. (He has that one anime channel...plus I've got like a million dvds)
Oh I almost forgot. Poser kept going on and on about how she wants to ask this freshman (Billie) out. I almost hope he says no. I know its mean, but the last thing I need is for her to go on and on about him. At least if he says no it will be only a day or two of her crying about it.
Went driving for the first time today (got my temps last weekend). What. A. Nightmare. I wasn't bad. Hell, for a first time I was good. But my mother! I come to a stop light, hit the breaks a little too hard and mom says: "Not so hard! You trying to give me whip lash?" For get to turn a blinker on or look to my left: "Op, you just failed your test. Good luck getting you licence now." Oh, and my favorite. My first turn was a little wide, so instead of saying "Good, but that was too wide(or something along those lines)" like a normal person my mom says "BAM!! You just hit someone." I thought I really hit someone! So I slammed on the breaks and got out of the car. As I'm looking for a body my mom is laughing her ass off in the car, "Not literally sweetie" -_-. If it even seemed like I might mess up my mom would freak out (which would then make me freak) so after a while she just started instructing every little move (down to where I looked to stay in line). And if I didn't do it as instructed she would freak out some more. (By freak I don't mean get mad. I mean freak). So yeah for about an hour I went like this. And the longer it went, the more she would criticised, the more she criticized the more nervous and more mistakes I made.
Oh, and I'm working on making my own layout for this, but cant find any good pics, so if you have any please send them my way. Thanks.
Call me Duzzie (that’s Doozie). Im 16 and I live in a small town somewhere in Ohio and nothing EVER happens here. So Lucky YOU! You get to read about all the nothingness
that dosnt happen here!
+ To move
+ A new cellphone + A tredmil + A really awsome boyfriend
+ Enough money to fuel my California roadtrip this summer
+ The ability to read minds
Dreams: checklist
* Travel the world
* Roadtrip after graduation
* Get into University
* Figure out what I want to do with my life
* Twins ^^ (lol lil far ahead there)
Now with new songs so you dont get as bored as quickly